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Parody Contest Poems: A Walk in the Park, by Eric Norris

Eric Thomas Norris is a poet living in Portland, Oregon. His poems have appeared in:  Impossible Archetype, One Poetry Journal, Trinity House Review, Ambit, Foglifter, Assaracus, E-Verse Radio, Soft Blow, The Raintown Review , and many other journals. His book publications include:  Astronomy for Beginners  and   Letters from Oblivion .   Eric writes: This is a reworking of W.H. Auden’s poem ‘A Walk After Dark.’ I continue Auden’s poem from darkness into a more doubtful morning in America. This poem was originally published in Lovejets: Queer Male Poets on 200 years of Walt Whitman, by Squares & Rebels Press, in 2019. A Walk in the Park (after W.H. Auden) Midnight, mackerel, pearly pink, More colors than two eyes can count, Send my spirits soaring through The stratosphere, astonished by How easily last night became Today. Yes, the stars go out, Like clockwork, as they always do, At dawn. Walking off my run, A young Marine sprints past — light speed — G...

Parody Contest Poems: Former Laureate, by B.N. Faraj

B. N. Faraj  is a writer and poet living in Fair Lawn, New Jersey. He holds a bachelor’s degree from the University of Detroit and a master’s from the University of Michigan. He is currently putting the finishing touches on a translation of a collection of classical Arabic poems. His latest work appears in the literary magazine  Transference  and the anthology  Mother, a Title Just above Queen. B.N. writes: " The appointment is not for life anymore. And that invites others to start calling him “Former Laureate,” once the appointment is over. But it gets even worse when he starts calling himself so. And that’s something no poet should be subjected to. One would think the Fifth Amendment afforded such protection. With sincere sympathies to Billy Collins, hoping that he wasn’t completely damaged by the experience and that he’s finding life bearable as a former laureate!" Former Laureate It’s such a fleeting thing that thing      One day you have it, then ...

Parody Contest Poems: Do Not Log Off that Good Site Tonight, by Tamarah Rockwood

Tamarah Rockwood   obtained her degree in Creative Writing and Literature from Harvard University and is the founder and CEO of  Bainbridge Island Press . She lives on Bainbridge Island, WA, with her husband and five children. They also love their cat, Yoshi, their bird, Poppy, and their flock of ducks Do Not Log Off that Good Site Tonight (after Dylan Thomas) Do not log off that good site tonight      Retinas should burn and tear at close of day;      Scroll, scroll against the dying of the phone light.      Although studies show that to sleep, dark is right, And that our minds are slaves to the sun, I stay: Do not log off that good site tonight.      My poor husband, who rolls over in bed, crying how bright      My Instagram feeds are, and chase all of the shadows away;      Scroll, scroll against the dying of the phone light.      Wild reels of song caught in candid and ...

Parody Contest Poems: To the Zoomers, to Make Much of Prime, by E.J. Hutchinson

E. J. Hutchinson is associate professor of classics at Hillsdale College (Michigan) and director of Hillsdale’s Collegiate Scholars Program. To the Zoomers, to Make Much of Prime (after Robert Herrick, “To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time") Gather ye earbuds while ye may, While Spotify’s a-streamin’; Find something whimsical to play, Like “California Dreamin.” Pay for the year in one lump sum, Though higher it’s a-getting. Subscription fees are not so dumb As weed or online betting. That song is best which comes up first; Just trust the algorithm. It’s true, it sometimes blows the search; Still, go with what is given. Use Spotify for songs, or Prime, Your P!nk or Katy Perry; For records, really, who’s got time? Plus, ownership’s too scary.

Parody Contest Poems: A Beloved's Response to Catullus, by Catherine Meale

Catherine Meale is an avid reader of poetry and fiction. She grew up in Florida and studied Classics, both of which seem to find their way into her work. She is particularly interested in poets who write love better than they live it. A Beloved’s Response to Catullus You hate. You love. I have not asked. It is the doing, not the being done. Did you not know? You are torturer, not tormented. *** Catullus 85  ( the poem to which the one above responds, original Latin followed by English translation ) Ōdī et amō. Quārē id faciam fortasse requīris. Nesciŏ, sed fierī sentiō et excrucior. [1 ] I hate and I love. Why I do this, perhaps you ask. I know not, but I feel it happening and I am tortured.